Thursday, February 24

Room 101
Room 101 was the room in George Orwell's 1984 which contained "the worst thing in the world". I didn't know that until today, which just goes to show that a bored moment at work can turn into an educational opportunity thanks to the power of t'internet.

Whenever I've seen Room 101 programme on the telly, I always try and think of the things that I'd like to put in Room 101. Here's what they are today.

I say today, because there are variables - I might put my cat in there on a day when he is trying to bat me with his paw, but I wouldn't put him in there on a day when he is being a furry purry thing, like a cat should be.

On another day, I might put shop-bought cakes in there, because they are full of E-numbers and nastiness. But then something like a Cadbury Mini Roll might turn up in the office and surprise me.

Emma's Room101
  • Spitting

  • Once, I dropped some money on the floor in town, I bent down to pick it up and my little finger went in a big load of green gobby goo. This has traumatised me for life, and I still feel dirty whenever I think about it - in fact, my finger is tingling with repulsion as I type.

    You would not believe how much of this hell-gunk I see on the pavements while I'm walking to work. It is revolting. Men (and ladies if you can call yourselves that, but I strongly suspect it is 99% blokes), either get yourself a packet of Handy Andies to spit it in or swallow it. And under no circumstances should you make that grotesque throat clearing noise trying to bring it up. BLEURGH!

    Footballers are the worst culprits. Men outside the Imperial Cafe in Splott are second. You know who you are - now stop it!

  • Snakes

  • Well, what do they actually do? Apart from scare me when I go the cinema to see something seemingly innocent like Lemony Snickett's Series of Unfortunate Events, so much so that I actually squeal at one point and have to hide underneath my coat for at least five minutes. If the story of St Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland is true, it almost makes me want to believe in God. Or Cod.

  • Beetroot

  • What is the point of a vegetable that exists only to a) make you gag and b) dye everything else on the plate violet. I've tried to like it, I really have. And not just the pickled stuff your nan serves with boiled ham for Sunday tea. I had some organic beetroot roasted in with some other winter veg; I had it in the form of soup; I even had it with all kind of fancy things in a vegetarian restaurant (what they were escapes me now).

    But however you try and jazz it up, there's no escaping the fact that it's just like you are eating purple dirt.

Ooo, I enjoyed that rant, but it's time to catch the train now - bye!

You can add your own pet hates here.

Wednesday, February 23

I am having an obesity crisis
OMG, I have put on sooooo much weight. It really is quite frightening. It's a cruel world we live in, when one has a intense love of cakes but an extreme fear of getting fat.

These are the kind of terrible habits I have slipped into during these cold winter months:
  • Chinese takeaways - about five during January alone! With chips!
  • Cakes, cakes, cakes and cakes. And not even just on weekends.
  • Booze. Hadn't been really drunk for ages, but have now turned into some kind of alcoholic. Pints in the pub, red wine on school nights... Even had a whole bottle of wine at home while watching TV - very unlike me.
  • No exercise. Too cold to go swimming or walking or get undressed in cold changing rooms.

Drastic action is needed before I reach Rik Walleresque proportions.

Monday, February 14

The best post ever
I was just about to write something that was intelligent, entertaining and incredibly witty. But I'm really hungry so I am going to have a cup of tea and some digestives instead.

Sunday, February 13

Here are some cakes I made today! They are 'practice' ones for Laura's wedding cake, which will be made up of lots and lots of fairy cakes. What do you think? Posted by Hello

Friday, February 11

Nice lady
Last night I went to see this nice lady doing a concert at the Barfly. She was fab - an amazing voice, fantastic songs, and she did a lot of talking to the crowd, which is always nice. Unlike Badly Drawn Boy, who I love, but is always a right old grumpy trousers whenever I've seen him live.

Friday, February 4

Too busy to blog
Life is tough when you're so busy that you can't blog. Here's some news.

I've started a very embarrassing new hobby. Yes, I know it's naff, but going to the gym is just sooo dull, and you don't get to listen to Cotton Eye Joe either.

After reading his autobiography, I want to marry this man. The blurb on the cover says he has 'immense emotional warmth', and that is so true. He hugs people, he cries for injured bunnies, he cries when he's happy, he cries when he's sad. I have cried along with him: at the train station, on the train, in my kitchen, on the sofa. He is just an all round poppet and I love him.

I went here. It's rather special.

Oh, and Rhys is going to be a Dad! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! The only dilemma is what to call it: Emma for a girl, Emlyn for a boy.

This weekend I am going to try and post a photo on my blog. Oo, I'm a right proper geek.